Trauma Nudged bowl

Wobble around for an hour before I can find any stillness

Resisting

This intense urge to change

Rewire whatever keeps me complacent cyclically

My therapist told me stop being a bummer

Try not to try harder

Solve the problems by enjoying life instead

Help my brain quiet down

Meditate

Run

Enjoying existing is hard work

But I get it

Enjoy life

At least

Try to enjoy life

Ok yeah

Maladaptive

Replace the smell of you on my fingers with a cigarette

Wine before noon

I called to have more of you

Wishing I’d make you want less of me

But you offered to get out of bed first when I needed water

Shit.

Spending so much time alone quiet

just missing the meditative aspect that could enrich my current state of being

I would be too powerful

Insomnia thoughts

I worry that I might have a song stuck in my head while I’m giving birth and it’s not even a good one

grubisland-deactivated20251130:

bugshroom:

Amanita muscaria - Alaska

(via softorwhatever)

I’m so thankful for Tumblr. We can be on the internet, share, create, not know a fucking soul here, and not require any social feedback. I love you even if you got deactivated 7 years ago and I still follow you.